Friday, April 11, 2008

Things That Are Funny For $200 Alex...

... In no particular order and not even EMS related, but to me, funny...
  • When I hear Hillary Clinton babble bad about the last seven years under the regime of Dumb King George - Hey, didn't she vote yes for every dumb-ass thing he's done... yes she did...
  • I laugh, in sad way- like when you see something pitiful, when John McCain, stages something to show how youthful and vigorous he is only to come off looking more and more like the sad, rickety, simple old man he is.
  • When drunks insist on helping the Paramedics
  • I laugh till I cry when my patient is a bulky dude in his 30's, who lectures me on citizen gun rights and self defense whist he is being transported to the ER after shooting himself in the calf holstering his sidearm.
  • I chuckle when drunks admit to "two beers" and only two beers. None of them have ever had more than, yes, two beers... I have a vision of a dude, laying on his back on the sidewalk, propped up on his elbows, soaked in his own piss screaming "Sir, I swear, I only had two beers sir. Sir, why are you laughing at me?"
  • And of course, I have to laugh when they swear they did, swear they did not and call me sir 15 or twenty times.
  • I smirk when I drive past the little road-side monuments that we allow to blossom that commemorate the spot where poor Drunk Johnny met his end.
  • I roar out load when I encounter firefighters on the job- I will pay cash money to go out on a fire call. The comedic high jinks are of the greatest quality and well worth the price of admission. Why, if I had a dollar for... Never mind- I am laughing now- we will make an entire episode or two about fireman follies...
  • And like you, I still laugh when grown men, who should know better, stick one of their only two hands under the deck of a running lawn mower. Ouch, but, come on- funny...
  • I laugh when bystanders, who did nothing while awaiting our arrival, scream at us to "DO SOMETHING!"
  • I try so hard not to laugh when the most hysterical of all the bystanders at an incident runs up, waves their arms and screams, "I'm a nurse!".
  • I do giggle a bit when me ambulance is referred to as "a bus" or "the bus"- though most of our patients really only need a bus- say it- it's true...
  • I smile inside when I get to talk to you, come on- you know...

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