Thursday, May 7, 2009

Conversation With an Athletic Trainer

I work as a Paramedic in a major metropolitan area- for some Medics one of the perks of the job are the overtime details at professional sports contests. Baseball season is here and with football fast approaching we had our annual meeting with the local pro football team trainer- afterward his assistant had this brief exchange with me:

I don't know what the big deal is- I can do all the same stuff you Paramedics do.

Huh- can you intubate?

Well, no I... I can't...

Give intravenous drugs like Amiodorone, Verapamil, Atropine, Morphine, Fentanyl- can you even give Benadryl?

No, I-I-I...

Can you interpret a cardiac rhythm? How about a 12 lead EKG?

We ahh, we never ahh...

How about CPAP, pulse oximetry, capnography- you ever do any of that stuff?

No, no I mean ahh...

So pretty much the only thing you can do that I do is hand out band-aides right? You look like you're really good at handing out band-aides.

Yeah, whatever man, I just thought we ahhh....

Look- you can't do anything a Paramedic does. So next time just keep your mouth shut.

Life in the big city folks.

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