Thursday, July 30, 2009

My EMS Shift Report For Today

Hey- here's a little glimpse into what a real life EMS shift is like. This is my true to life account of today's shift, which frankly was not among my faves.

0640- I'm running late- I like to get in early but ain't happening today. Turn on radio and monitor.
0700- right on time, through the door. Hey, my ex is on shift with us today. She never works out of this station. She see's me, shoots a dirty look and turns away. I walk past without saying hello- which causes... uhh, she mutters "This is bullshit" and runs outside crying. Wha?
0701- Wheee- off to a great start.
0702- The Mumbler's on duty as well- he's not talking either. I wrote him up yesterday for ducking calls and leaving us stuck for an hour and a half.
0705- Coffee, truck check, harass partner
0732- The calls start coming in- thank God!
1010- Deputy Chief Tubby McButterpants is in an EMS management pre-meltdown crisis. He needs a trip sheet I wrote on July 24th. Why? Well I also laid some paper on the Dispatch Center of one of the local ER's for failing to acknowledge our calls to them. DC McButterpants is an old school style EMS manager- he firmly believes if you ignore an EMS problem long enough it will go away. Hmmm- not this one Butterfat- he's been called in to review the tape in order to head off my formal complaint to the Department of Health.

The rest of the day brings more calls- most quite frankly BS- like the young woman who called 911 because the weed she smoked made her "think funny". No shit- that's why people smoke it.

1900- called to the local BK for a woman down. When we pulled up we saw a female, maybe 45 or 50, painted-on tan, dressed semi-nice, kinda stylish sitting on the sidewalk. We walked up and asked that ol' standard "Hey, what's going on today?" She pulled off her shoe and her sock and revealed...right there, on the big toe of her right foot- a bright red, brand new BLISTER... and I freaked out. I'm not usually the one who goes off, but today I just couldn't help it. " You called 911 for an ambulance because you have a blister on your toe? Are you serious?"
2000- Back at the station, going off duty- really wondering why I keep doing this...

3 comments:

The Happy Medic said...

Aren't you current on your Routine Medical Technician training? What? Your card says "Emergency?"

Weird.

Fight the good fight Pedro!

TBChick said...

A blister? She called 911 for a blister? Studpid woman!! I know how to fix those. Oopps!! Did I push that needle a little too far?

Glad to see you back on your blog. You need to do it more. Besides I gave you a follow Friday on Twitter and pointed people to your blog and a few others.

Hang in there Pedro!! Somebody out there may actually need you.

Fire Critic said...

Hilarious