Sunday, August 23, 2009

God Works in Mysterious Ways- When He Works...

... which does not seem to be all that often...

Now- the official Pedro disclaimer- I know, from my time on the streets that many of you are VERY sensitive and easily offended. Well, sorry- I really think these two tales will fair better if they reach the world uncensored by one such as me.

Dispatched with the police for multiple patients following a domestic. Walked through the front door and found a two year old female running around yelling "Goddamn bitch, Goddamn bitch, Goddamn bitch!". Her four year old brother hollered " Mom, she's swearing again!". We could see Mom back in the kitchen talking to the police officers. She pulled her cigarette out of her mouth and screamed back into the living room at the four year old- "Well, tell her to shut the fuck up asshole"

Dispatched on a busy Sunday morning to a church for an elderly female who had passed out. We made our way through the ongoing service and found our patient sitting in a pew. My partner asked a few brief questions- our plan was to find out what was going on and move to the truck- when we were interrupted by the amplified voice of the preacher. Screaming at us from the pulpit " Quiet! I'm tryin' to preach up here!". My partner shot me a look that I knew at once meant trouble. He stood straight up, pointed at the preacher and yelled at the top of his voice- "What? Is that what your Jesus would do? Bullshit! Jesus would have his ass down here helping us. If you're not helping then shut the hell up so we can hear what this poor old woman is trying to say. " Noboby said nuttin'... never heard any more about it... til now...

Ok, that's it. Sorry I haven't had a lot of time to spend with you kids but I've got a City to save- one knucklehead at a time...

3 comments:

The Happy Medic said...

Ah, another victim of the once a week stand up, sit down fight fight fight!

Ckemtp said...

I once went to a church twice during the same service. Once for a refusal hypoglycemic coma, and the other for a fall with a broken leg.

The preacher asked the congregation if people were dropping like flies because he was so boring

Noooooo! CALL 3 MIN TO END OF SHIFT!

Fire Critic said...

Some things are better off not said. NOt that I don't agree with him, I just would not have said it. I def. would have thought it though!