Saturday, August 8, 2009

Stupid Is As Stupid Does...

...or- There's a little bit of dumb behind every trauma...

Here's a couple recent calls that came with a twist or two-

Dispatched for a MVC, car on its roof in a busy underpass. On scene we found a Pontiac Bonneville with dealer plates, on its roof as advertised. There were marks on the wall near the entrance to the underpass and about 100 feet of Bonneville roof size skid marks running down the roadway. The driver was out of the car yelling into his cell phone.
Turns out the driver was a used car salesman delivering the Bonny to another car dealer. Just prior to the trip the vehicle had been thoroughly detailed- can you see where this is going? The detail guy had applied a nice shiny coating of Armor-All to, among other things, the leather seats, the steering wheel and the brake and accelerator pedals.
The salesman said all was well, except for a little slippy-slide on the seat, until he was cut off entering the underpass. When he went to maneuver all hell broke loose- his hands slipped on the wheel, his ass slipped on the seat and his foot slid off the brake pedal. He hit the wall, which has a slight bank to it, and rolled.

Dispatched, mutual aid with another towns VFD for a "structural collapse" with entrapment. Enoute we could hear lots of excited screaming from the responding firefighters as well as the small towns EMS supervisor. We were almost convinced something big was going on- and as we pulled up we saw rescuers of all unlikely shapes and sizes running, pretty much in circles, around a nice little brick ranch.
My partner and I grabbed the esesntials- First In Bag and Immobilization gear- all the while being urgently, very,very urgently urged to "Hurry up!" by their EMS guy.
When we walked around the corner of the house we saw that a small four foot square wooden deck had broken partially away where it attached to the home. The side closest to the house fell about three feet to the ground, the other end supported by a pair of 4 by 4's. Down in the low end, healthy but extremely unhappy, was a heavy set female maybe 65 or so and a fat little dog.
They were entrapped I guess- but only because neither was able to pull themselves up into the waist high doorway or kick through the railing and escape.
We let the fire department handle the rescue, called it a "no patient" and went back to the Big City.
An interesting side note- we were called in because this town no longer has any Paramedics. Couple months back all the full time Medics walked into the station, dropped off their equipment and left. The towns been depending on mutual aid ever since. Our crews refuse to even go into the station there because of the hostile attitude of the Supervisor and Director. They both happen to be certified as Paramedics but won't run on the street, preferring to stay at the station and send lollipops on FaceBook. Hey- they're hiring.

Ok, that's it- the sun's coming up and I am going to get my day started...

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