Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Right Stuff

... Do you have the right stuff? Take a good look at yourself and let's see if you have what it takes to be a genuine Emergency Medical Paramedic Supervisor.

Based on my observations these are the qualities that every EMS Supervisor worth his breakfast burritos has:

  • A drivers license- c'mon you do have a drivers license don't ya? Hey- we'll work with you...
  • The ability to seamlessly flip between Facebook and videos of firetrucks on YouTube- and a superhuman reflex to get something that looks like work on the screen if you get an office visitor
  • You gotta be a delagator- the more of your work you can push off on others the more time you can spend in the drive thru at Mickie D's
  • Breakfast Burritos- you knew we'd come back to them- minimum three a day or don't apply. Same with the 44oz. Slurpee or Big Gulp or whatever they sell in your town. Three a day or don't waste our time
  • Physical fitness- if you are currently fit and trim, I would suggest bulking up a bit. Your belly should hang well over your belt and cause you to waddle when taking one of your hourly trips down the hall to ruin the shitter
  • You a good listener? You must have the ability to misinterpret and misquote every thing you hear
  • Do like meetings? Because you'll be going to a lot of meetings. But don't worry- there's always food and nobody expects you to have any input. In fact, at most meetings nobody wants you to talk at all. Just say- "Hi- is dem doughnuts I see over there? 'kay Bye"
  • Are you willing to work the grueling EMS supervisor schedule. You didn't think you were going to work that cushy 60 hour a week paramedic schedule did you? Expect to work five weekday eights- and like it.
  • Do you have the ability to become invisible when things go wrong? And pop up like a delicious toaster pastry when the going is good?
Well, does that sound like you paramedic? You just may be on your way to a career as an EMS Supervisor. Good luck.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Transport of the Non-Critically Ill EMS Patient

... a quick guide on the care and transport of the typical, less than critical EMS patient- a guide for EMS in these troubled, modern times...

Sure, my partner and I did have a "real" call last night. That would be the dude who fell off the roof at 0230 and pulled a big chunk o' concrete down on top of himself in the process. Oh, and his room-mate stole his narcs while he was laying on the sidewalk and then OD'd- enter ambulance #2.

But most EMS calls are to be honest, not stuff 911 should be called for. You've either had these patients or perhaps been one- the sore toes, thumbs, wieners, knees, elbows. The guy with the itchy ball, the chick whose PCP ordered a pregnancy test last week... the list goes on and on and on.

What is an over burdened EMS service to do?

Why not send these sub-acute patients to the ER via UPS? Yes, the folks in the uber dependable brown trucks. For one thing it would free up an ALS ambulance for real emergencies, and your patients get their very own tracking number so they'll never, ever get lost. Ever.

Plus if you were to send 'em signature required on delivery, they would be seen, triaged and seated as soon as they set foot in the building.

Win, win and win.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The City is Always Right...

I worked with the new guy yesterday. This is the Medic the City spent the entire winter recruiting. We have lots of openings and the intent was to fill them all with a big recruitment drive. We got one guy. Just one Medic.

With such a glaring staff shortage and such an obvious shortage of replacement Medics out in the world you'd think the City would put a little effort into retention. Hmmm...

The New Guy told me that he has been given verbal and then written warnings on five of the past six days by the same Chief for not wearing his badge and nameplate. So wear your stuff I said, just wear it. Can't says The New Guy- I was never issued a badge or nameplate. So we waited after our shift to talk to the Chief and obtain New Guys uniform jewelery. The meeting went like this...

"Hey Chief, you've been writing The New Guy up for being out of uniform for not wearing a badge or nameplate..."

Yup- he's gotta wear that stuff. Like you said- part of the uniform.

"But he's never been issued either of them"

That's right, we're out of them.

So- do you see the problem here?